Wednesday 2 September 2009

West Ham's Hunt For A New Striker Moves To Burger King


After losing out on a host of strikers located all over Europe, Scott Duxbury has now turned his attention to branches of Burger King in the hope of finding a back up for Carlton Cole. With pizza loving Beano Ashton tucking in to a meat feast and still unavailable for selection, Duxbury is turning his attention to another heavyweight of the game, hoping for a take away deal on the cheap. Boa-Morte, Faubert and Ashton have all looked on the tubby side when wearing the claret and blue but if Duxbury lands his latest Whoppa, then we will have to revert to our old XXL sponsors to find a shirt big enough to fit him!

After spending the last month trawling fast food joints from Newcastle to Sydney, it seems that Duxbury may have tracked down Mark Viduka at last. Of course there is no guarantee at this stage that Viduka will agree to join us. Any deal will surely hinge on the availability of a burger joint within yards of the training ground. If you thought Tristan was immobile, you aint seen nothing yet!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

How about a positive, 'cup half full article' for once?

You could profile one of our new signings. Diamante seems like a good prospect and interesting character. Plenty of good material on him I'd imagine.

Or maybe write about how we've managed to hold on to the vital spine of our first eleven in Green, Upson, Parker and Cole in the face of extreme financial pressure. Especially considering the Guardian's article this morning about our accounts.

Is there nothing positive that you can blog? I'm all for debate and challenging media spin but it would be nice to see the odd dash of positivity thrown in once in a while...

Anonymous said...

yawn

Anonymous said...

Never mind all this old bollocks, when's the Trevor and Bill show back in town?
I need some light entertainment.

Deane said...

Phew I was a bit worried then thought you might have had a coronary after reading the Gurdian article on the clubs finances looking forward to both barrels in the near future
How does it go Oh yes we're ok because "we've never been in breach of debt covenants" well said mr Duxberry so glad you keep us well informed and don't spin us any lines Thank you now I'm off back to the rest of the mushrooms you keep so happy

Duxbury's eyebrows said...

There's a McDonalds just up the road to the training ground in Whalebone Lane South. So he might join us then, lol.