Following a late night raid on the sleepy Italian city of Livorno, Mafia hood Gianfranco Nani returned to the East End with a Diamanti gem in his swag bag this morning. CEO Scott Duxbury, unaware perhaps that Villa are now buying Dunne and that Stoke are negotiating for Huth, smiled in greeting, expecting, no doubt, that the daring raid would be financed by the sale of James Collins. Nani could find a horse's head in his bed if the Collins deal has gone tits up!
Excitement is now mounting as rumours circulate that this may not be the only new recruit before the window slams shut. Has a loan deal been arranged for Eider G? The prospect of seeing Diamanti, Eider and Jimenez just behind Cole is certainly an exciting one. When pressed, Duxbury told reporters, "I will move heaven and earth to bring Eider to West Ham if only to shove Hammersfan's ill informed criticism down his throat. The idea of his grovelling apology excites me more than the thought of a staffordshire bull terrier in stockings and suspenders."
The RSPCA declined to comment.
10 comments:
PISA MERDE
Mate - Kneejerk rants to 'The Times' aside, you are truly my kind of nutter!! Maybe I'm just relieved /overjoyed that we 've signed a striker but that was very amusing.
Bit concerned with how you view the canine species though.
moorethemerrier
good to see you sending yourself up over Duxbury. I think you've been a bit harsh on the man meself, though i'm sure he has been a bit dodgy in the past, perhaps he is a bit slimy at times, he doesn't exactly have a trustworthy face which doesn't help, but I do actually believe he wants the club to be successful, wether that's driven by passion for all things West Ham is another question, but if his personal ambitions aid our club in any way I can only see that as a good thing, we kind of need someone with that drive, he probably secretly supports another team I reckon. at the end of the day, he's helped to pull the club together under extremely tough circumstances and pulled off some major signings. think you can give him a break...for now. lets hope Diamanti shines in a diamond formation. COYI!
SBOBET
A great morning then, cheered up that at last we signed someone (cheers sbobet, did I mention how great your logo looks on our shirt?) and a proper laugh at a very amusing post That image of Dux will haunt me forever
Very god 1130 as, to givecredit where it is due, is theorg headline. I saw the Shine On You Crazy Diamond tour all those years ago. Maybe I was there with Nev at the Empire Pool?
blog on you crazy dickhead
A staffordshire bull terrier in stockings and suspenders? Man! You have some weird perversions. I not sure that I would like see what you view as doggy style. Best not go there me thinks!
Are you feeling a little happier now?
Mr. Duxbury (to you) looks forward to receiving your fulsome and contrite apology.
The predilection for canines in risque lingerie is entirely yours.
Friends of Duxbury.
Very good 1331
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