Sunday 21 June 2009

Trev Says Ex Man City Boss Pearce Is Next England Manager.


According to Trevor "I'm an arrogant sod who doesn't sign autographs" Brooking, Stuart Pearce is next in line to the throne as England manager. Really? Is Brooking aware of Pearce's record as a manager at Forest and Unreal City?

To be perfectly frank, Psycho hasn't exactly covered himself in glory when given the top job has he? Excuses will be offered by his supporters, but really good managers don't need to be defended, their records speak on their behalf. Capello was always going to be a success - a CV like his screamed "appoint me"; the wally with the brolly arrived with a reputation as a great number two, and lived up to the title perfectly when given the top job!

But never mind what he has achieved as a manager - we know that, ultimately, that counts for sweet FA when it comes to picking the England manager. That's why Clough never got the job. The FA ballsed up twice when they appointed Revie and Taylor, when they should have known that with regional accents like that, they could never succeed. If Psycho wants to be appointed, he should forget his coaching badges and pay for something much more important, elocution lessons - because, with that voice, he doesn't stand a Boa Morte inside the six yard box chance!

And quite right too if you ask me. Capello has learnt a whole new language to prove his commitment to the job; Pearce isn't even prepared to learn how to pronounce his vowels and THs correctly! Brooking should give him a good talking to. The only player at West Ham ever to get any O Levels hasn't quite mastered received pronunciation, but he has developed the male Royal habit of joining his words with that strange errrrghhh noise. Now Pearce could perhaps start with this and build up from there. "The errrghhh rain in errrrghhh Spain falls errrghhh mainly on the errrghhh plain". Come on errrghhh Stewie, you can errrghhh do it!

In fact, he could do worse than watch hours and hours of Family Guy and model himself on his Psycho infant namesake. Say after me: "Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do THAT, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you may as well pack it in. Game over."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brooking must be heading into Dementia.
Pearce was a wretched club manager with MCFC,perhaps wretched is not strong enough bloody useless is not strong enough.
We went months without a home goal we went out of the FA Cup at Blackburn in the 6th round without one shot on target.
He has no pedigree and no tactical ability ideal maybe for a job at the swamp.
Brooking wants a good talking to or maybe it's Blatter in disguise.

el martillo said...

Actually these days the rain in Spain falls mainy in errrghhh....France.

Stuart Pearce for me, is totally uninspiring, in the age of mobile phones his communication skills are still two tin cans and a piece of string.

Hammersfan said...

Oy, 'e's an ex Iron, a Bruv!

el martillo said...

OK. One tin can and a piece of string.

Anonymous said...

Fanno why does he have to learn to speak the queens english, I would say due to our following from the east end and essex 90% of West Ham fans don't speak the queens English, this just again proves you are muppet the majority of the time.
You put up some good posts but when you try and be funny it just doesn't work, stick to what you do best

Hammersfan said...

Of course he needs to speak the Queen's English if he wants to manage the England football team. You can't have a Cockney accent and manage the England football team. Look what happened when they gave the job to Venables - the bleedin' idiot nearly won Euro 96!