Thursday 4 June 2009

Something Fishy About Our Transfer Targets


And we thought there was a whiff about the Tevez and Mascherano deal when they arrived fresh from a World Cup to join little old West Ham. Fishy? No, everything above board we were told. But this time there's no doubt about it, any talk of signing a Fanni has to have a fishy whiff about it!

What a dressing room we could have next season if we net both the French Fanni and Bates from Miserableborough. We will be the butt of all jokes in the Premiership if we sign them! Start reading the team sheet: Green Fanni? No I'd rather Master Bates thanks very much!

Who needs nicknames when the club signs players with names like Rod Fanni! Let's sign Shittu too just for a laugh! Bernt Hass is another must, along with Arse Shavings from Arsenal. Dickov could make a return to the Prem and we could bring in Seaman to coach Green. And let's get Marcus Bent and team him up with Yoo Suck! Then there's that German Kuntz (no, that's not another name for Ballack!) and his mate Uwe Fuchs, not to be confused with another potential signing Milan Fukal. David Goodwillie would fit in well with Fanni and we could also recruit Quim and Johan de Cock whilst we are about it.

I know, schoolboy humour, but honestly, it invites it doesn't it? One last one, don't let Butt slip down to the Fizzy Pop!

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please stop posting this nonsense or if you can't, at least put something in the title to suggest it's going to be this boring otherwise I'll keep wasting my time clicking on your posts as they come up on newsnow.

Life of Iron said...

He might fill the hole left by Neill,

On a serious note he's a pretty good player, got into team of the season in France

(yes I know it's France)

but still the best right back last year ain't bad

Anonymous said...

He is in the Ligue 1 team of the year. Would be a very good signing, and the funny name is a bonus :)

Hammersfan said...

2153, the clue is in the site name. See it is this site and don't click on the link. Easy! You must be a moron if you can't cope with that frankly!

Tom said...

Obviously bored .... but a good giggle all the same ...

Fanni look mighty tasty to me tho ...

Anonymous said...

Shame him and Fernando Arce can't switch positions. Then we'd have Fanni with Arce just behind him. Oh dear I've sunk to your level haha.

Life of Iron said...

I have to say HF you get some people on here that are just to serious,

CHILL PEEPS

Anonymous said...

Have to say HF, this has to be the funniest post since the Borgias episode.
6

Hammersfan said...

I much preferred the Borgias post because of the people who took it seriously! That reply, "You don't say what position Borgias plays and what his club is" was a classic!

Are you sure that's lemonade? said...

I like irreverence but it's supposed to be funny!

Anonymous said...

faubert was the next big thing when he joined us. theres only one way to test a fanni....and i hope franco doesnt have to pay £5m for the honour

michael maisonpierre said...

The downside to signing Fanni is obviously that we'd need to get Nani.

Hammersfan said...

I know lemonade, stuck for a substantive topic so knocked this up. It's harmless isn't it? Will be great listening out for the Colemanballs on MOTD if he joins,

And Fanni's free

Franni's available out wide

Fanni was taken from behind

Fanni didn't like that hard tackle

Fanni with a great sliding tackle

Fanni's a bit exposed

Fanni's struggling to cope with the Brazilean.

He's all over Fanni like a rash

I'm off to write he script for the relaunch of "Are you being served?" now. It's set in Upton Park and Mrs Slocombe's cat has a new name!

Anonymous said...

with fanni down we're gaping at the back

Anonymous said...

And the best thing would be getting Dicks back!

WestHamDan said...

Even Julien Faubert got in the French first team, there's no predicting at this stage whether or not Fanni can cope in the premier league.

Anonymous said...

Yea if we sign nicky butt from newcastle and get julian dicks back, you could have the commentator saying, dicks into fanni, he pulls out and and goes into butt

Anonymous said...

15;22 lmao

el martillo said...

Nobby Solano's up for a cameo role, Titi Camera's available if you want to do a new version of the Great Exxxcape.

Carlton Cole said...

sorry if these comments have alreay been said.. however i was at a bbq last night and we was discussing Fanni :) haha..
anyway we said comments from the fans like:
"stick it in there Fanni"
and
"get your head on it Fanni"
would be crowd favourites.