Thursday 25 June 2009

If Beano Joins Stoke...


...what will that say about the guy? I have been a very harsh critic and received plenty of flack because of it. I think the guy is a legend in his own mind and is lazy and selfish. There I've said it.

People blame Curbishley and his fitness team but they forget that Ashton arrived from Norwich with more bandages about his thighs than an Egyptian Mummy. He wasn't fit then and hasn't been fit since - well not in his own mind at least. Beano is the new Darren Anderton, a sicknote who needs a lie down as soon as he feels the slightest twinge. He looks after number 9 and says sod the rest of you.

I feel that Zola has his number. He came out in April and said he hoped to see Beano in action before the end of the season. Woken from his slumbers, Beano promptly informed journalists that he would only return when HE was good and ready. We didn't see him of course, whereas Carlton demonstrated his desire by meeting his target return date.

Even when he has played, Beano has looked laboured and out of condition to me. In fact, for a couple of months he looked positively fat. If he is as good as his supporters claim, why is he being linked with Stoke City exactly? Why aren't the Mancs, the Cockyfools or Unreal City showing any interest?

I said back in December that Cole would collect more England caps than Beano and the orgsters scoffed. Cole is already ahead and not many Stoke City players get selected for England. How must Beano be feeling at the moment? A superstar striker at Stoke City? Not quite what he imagined. But still, providing the treatment room is well equipped and cosy, I'm sure that Primadeano will be happy!

14 comments:

Edz said...

Surely he have spent more on his medical bills and paying the medical staff overtime than we are willing to sell him to Stoke for? I agree, i say we sell up and perhaps bring in Caicedo, same size, same amount of goals, just fit and five years younger!

Anonymous said...

HF You're a large one, at least the orgsters know a little about football. He came to us from Norwich they bought him from CA. You just proved the worth of this so call West Ham blog. Bet you don't let this through your I-only-let-thru-wot-I-like filter

John Potter said...

Wow, you really have done your research if you think you signed Ashton from Crewe!

Hammersfan said...

John, excellent point! Little typo. Thanks for picking it up, I have corrected the original article. Still, he started at Crewe and arrived at Norwich with an injury!

Scott said...

"a sicknote who needs a lie down as soon as he feels the slightest twinge"
Er, it's not as it he's missing games here or there, he's had serious injury problems. Your logic is warped! How is he selfish? Should he be playing through injury as an unselfish gesture to us loyal supporters?
Also, where do you get your nicknames from... BEANO! Very witty! I bet you were the kid at school who told everyone to call you ACE or something like that as that was your (self-given) nickname and everyone calls you ACE.. except no-one did.

Hammersfan said...

A Beano is a jolly jaunt you don't have to pay for! Sums up Primadeano nicely. Actually, I came up with the name by accident because I am dyslexic. Aec

Hammersfan said...

And Scott, on the injury front, it hasn't only been the broken ankle! Latest injury is bed sores!

SN6 said...

Telegraph reckons we'd take 10 million for him.
Which means he ain't going to Stoke.

Describing him as selfish is b*ll**ks HF. I genuinely think he's shit scared of getting injured again. I do agree that when he came back last time, he was well out of shape and took a long time to get match fit but I still think he's capable of scoring goals in situations where others fail.

Plus, I would think he's looking at trying to stay fit this season with the World Cup looming.

However, if (big if) we get Mancini, I reckon he'll be offloaded.

And I'll bet he goes to Villa

Denbighammer said...

Anderton played over 300 times for Spurs in his 12years at The Drain - Deano makes him look like Billy Bonds. Big earner + no play = bad business. For me Ashton would be one of the first of the high earners out of the door. Only Dyer and Slow-a-Morte would be in front of him. I'd take 6million, cut and run. Let him go to Stoke, see if we can lump in Dyer on a (quite literal) BoGOF!

supernumbersix said...

You really do talk some crap at times Hammersfan.

Anonymous said...

You don't think Stoke can afford him? I think they may have a little bit more money than you think. Ashton is a Stoke boy that's where he started out in there youth team. Stoke are a big club in terms of following and the fans love the players. Why would he not want to return?

Stig said...

I think you are being totally unfair on the guy. Remember the 2006 FA cup final? He was pulling up trees for us. Hardly his fault he got a broken ankle is it?

Anonymous said...

Just to correct you he started out at stoke not crewe..........

Anonymous said...

You state that Carlton Cole has more caps now as proof positive you were right when you said earlier he would get more caps than Ashton.

But it's only because Ashton has been injured since his initial call up, not because Cole is a better player. So it's a bit rich you claiming/intimating you are being proved right...