Thursday 28 May 2009

Downpipe Not Wanted By Sunderland!


Now there's a shock, having had the opportunity to see him in close up, even Blunderland don't want Callum Downpipe. They paid £6m for Linda and £8m for Anton, but it seems that twice bitten, thrice shy is the rule on Wearyside. The man once described by Le Tissier as the worst player EVER to wear a Southampton shirt is on his way back to Upton Park with his neck between his legs.

There are lots of so called EXPERTS on the org who will defend Downpipe and try to tell you how good he is, but his record speaks for itself. Downpipe has started 23 games for West Ham, 10 of which were in the Fizzy Pop, and we only kept clean sheets in two of them - against the mighty Rotherham and Wolves. Callum was in our defence when we shipped 4 goals against Cardiff, Charlton and Spurs, and 3 against Man City and West Brom. We even lost a goal at home to Macclesfield. In total we conceded 38 goals in the matches that featured Callum, meaning we need to score twice to get a point when he is in the side.

What do we do with him now? Zola clearly doesn't want him and Davenport has told the world he won't be at West Ham next season. What a mess! Another cock up we can chalk down to Turds!

12 comments:

Trigger said...

the first true blog you have written, congratulations!!

Anonymous said...

You have some terrible nicknames mon frere haha - Lastpickeva and Downpipe. Would Davenport not suffice?

Hammersfan said...

Bellyache and then Period Pains for the little Welsh tosspot were my personal favourites. I also coined Faux Pas which sums up our gross derriere Real Madrid loanee and Beano for our free loading centre forward! I also like Diarrhea for Keiron but I do struggle with the spelling. Bellyache and Diarrhea in the treatment room together worked a dream! Lucash Neill isn't one of mine but I asked permission to use it.

Having nicknames avoids repeating a name too often in an article and can bring a smile to the face.

Life of Iron said...

It's a shame he never reached his true potential and probably never will, I remember us having him on loan from Coventry (I think) and as a very young player he looked promising, then the spuds signed him and it's just gone down hill from there, Still even if Zola get rid on a free it'll lighten the wage bill slightly!

Hammersfan said...

He was on loan to Coventry but called back by Tottenham to loan to us as part of a transfer deal if I remember rightly.

Life of Iron said...

Ooops so it was down hill from the start then!

Anonymous said...

I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS JUST STEREOTYPE BUT NO, WEST HAM FANS ARE WANKERS, NO WONDER ALL THE TOP PLAYERS USE YOU AS A STEPPING STONE TO BIG CLUBS

Hammersfan said...

What provoked that comment 1832?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Red Nev said...

well don't think he's coming back to Saints.. were in enough trouble as it is! Signing George Wear's fake cousin back in the Souness days was a good move in comparison!

Hammersfan said...

LOL Red Nev, I wouldn't wish that on Southampton! Hope your fortunes pick up quickly mate, there's no way Southampton should be in the old Third Division!

Hammersfan said...

Anon above said:

16:32 if you dont like what you read then don't read it! obviously you're a carrot sucking donkey lover who has nothing to do with West Ham !! Blades fan maybe??????

Edited to remove f word.